


Milk Adventures

by Sweets_Thief



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: M/M, Milk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-28 23:38:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7661641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweets_Thief/pseuds/Sweets_Thief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fenris wants milk. Hawke has no idea where to buy it. Shenanigans ensue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Milk Adventures

**Author's Note:**

> this is so stupid :L nearly everyone features as Hawkefen try to find milk in Kirkwall. 
> 
> for kyle (kirkwxll on tumblr)

 

 

“Hawke you’re out of milk.”

Hawke groaned and rolled over, somehow having found himself upside-down on the bed during the night. “What?”

“You’re out of milk.” Fenris repeated softly, leaning on the doorframe with his arms folded.

“What do you even need milk for?” Hawke inquired, leaning up on his elbows. Next to him his Mabari was snoring, still sleeping, and Fenris scowled at seeing him on the bed.

“Coffee.” Fenris replied.

“Drink it black.” Hawke yawned.

Fenris made a face, his nose scrunching up and Hawke smiled fondly. “I don’t like it black.”

“Alright…alright I’m getting up we can go and get milk.” Hawke groaned, heaving himself from bed and stretching. Fenris watched him, unembarrassed, as Hawke padded over to his drawers and withdrew some clothes. Fenris was fully dressed, missing only his armour, but as Hawke began drawing on the most important parts of his armour the elf disappeared to get his own. It was a good idea, Fenris considered, to wear armour even when going to get milk for Hawke. He had a lot of friends, but even more enemies in Kirkwall, so going to get milk probably wasn’t going to be an easy task.

“Fenris we have a problem.” Hawke called as he came out of his bedroom, his so called ‘Champion Armour’ gleaming in the light. There was a fresh line of blood across his nose, and it had dribbled a little down his cheeks but Hawke didn’t seem to care.

“What?”

“I don’t know where to get milk.” Hawke admitted, “Where do you even buy milk in Hightown?”

“Do you not…buy milk?” Fenris asked, an amused smirk on his face.

“Orana usually buys it for me, since I’m hardly ever here. And really, she never needs to buy milk since I’m hardly ever here and it would go bad.” Hawke shrugged, “Do you know where to buy milk?”

“…No. I’m sure we can find out.”

“Why don’t we go and ask everyone? Someone will know.” Hawke suggested.

“Or we could just go to the vendors and ask them.” Fenris suggested.

“And pretend I don’t know what I’m doing in Kirkwall, I’d never live down the shame.” Hawke said dramatically, clutching a hand to his chest. Fenris held back a laugh, shaking his head and turning away. “We could start with Sebastian in the Chantry.” Hawke added.

Fenris’ ears twitched a little. “Okay.”

//

“Milk?” Sebastian asked from where he was kneeling at the pulpit. Hawke nodded, running a hand through his hair and yawning.

“Hawke has no milk.” Fenris explained, “And he doesn’t know where to buy more.”

Sebastian smiled and stood up. “I don’t really buy groceries.” He admitted, “The Chantry gets a lot of donations, and what isn’t donated is brought by the traders. I put money towards what the sisters have to buy, but I don’t buy it myself. I’ll come with you to find out.”

“They might give us a bargain if they think it’s for the Chantry,” Hawke mused.

“I’m sure you’d get discount enough, being the Champion of Kirkwall and all.” Sebastian chuckled, securing his bow and gesturing for them to lead on. Hawke did, Fenris fell into step beside Sebastian, scowling. “Are you alright Fenris?”

“He’s going to turn this into something…extremely Hawke-like and stupid. If he could he’d storm into the Gallows and demand to know where his brother buys milk.” Fenris replied gruffly.

“It’s not so bad. It makes the day’s much more exciting.” Sebastian said.

“If you say so.”

//

“I can’t just give you milk, Hawke, it’s part of the guard’s ration.” Aveline said firmly.

“Just a little bit. For Fenris’ coffee?” Hawke asked. Fenris rolled his eyes, folding his eyes. He and Sebastian were stood in the doorway, acutely aware the guards standing around in the hallway were watching them.

“No Hawke. If I give you a little bit now, you’ll come back for more later.” Aveline replied, “Now I’ve got some jobs for you, if you’ll take them.”

“No time, got to get milk.” Hawke waved off Aveline with a grin that told the Guard Captain he was going to be back later to take up the details of the jobs from her.

//

“Wouldn’t suggest the milk in this place.” Varric said, sitting comfortably in his chair with a mug of ale in one hand and a smug look on his face. Hawke was sat opposite him, his own mug in front of him but it was untouched. “Probably been sitting there for a few hours.”

“I didn’t even know you could buy milk from the Hanged Man.” Hawke said, wrinkling his nose a little bit at the idea, “And I wouldn’t want to either. Do you know where to buy milk?”

“I don’t.” Varric shrugged, “I don’t like milk Hawke, I like my coffee black. It’s weird that people have milk in their coffee.”

Fenris bristled. “Not everyone likes pure black tar.”

“Tar?” Varric questioned, “Oh that’s good it’s going in the book.”

“The coffee in Kirkwall does sometimes have the consistency of tar,” Sebastian agreed, “I prefer the tea.”

“We can’t all be as angelic as you, choir boy.” Varric griped, shifting. Sebastian didn’t say anything, swapping an exasperated look with Fenris as Hawke stood up.

“Right we’re going to find milk.” He said.

“I’ll come with you, could do with a stretch.” Varric decided, downing his ale and standing as well.

“Why?” Fenris asked, “We’re going to traders to buy milk this doesn’t need to be an excursion for everyone.”

“Everyone just wants to help Fenris. I mean, how can no one know where to buy milk in Kirkwall? It’s almost as if the entire supply has disappeared. It’s definitely a quest for the…what did you call us Varric?”

“Band of Merry Mismatch.” Varric supplied.

“There you go, it’s a quest for the Band of Merry Mismatch.” Hawke exclaimed.

“Ugh.”

//

“I have water? You can use water for coffee?” Merrill suggested. “I mean; you really need water to make coffee before milk anyway so.”

“We already have water.” Fenris snapped, “Why are we here Hawke? We walked past the traders to come here? Are we going to Darktown as well to ask Anders?”

“May as well,” Hawke shrugged.

“I never really have enough money to buy things like milk.” Merrill continued, “Food is hard enough to come by sometimes. I can help you look though. I do know quite a few of the traders, had to get friendly to get some discounts.”

“I suppose it doesn’t help you spend most of your time staring at a mirror, forgetting to eat and then realising the food you did have went bad.” Hawke commented in amusement.

“Well no it doesn’t really.” Merrill agreed, “Oh that was a joke. Sorry. Still getting used to your humour Hawke.”

“Are you coming with us as well?” Fenris asked, interrupting.

“It would be good for you to get some sun.” Varric put in, “Come with us Daisy.”

“Okay.” Merrill said, “Let me just get my staff!”

//

“Milk?”

“Yes Anders milk. It comes from cows. Or goats I suppose. You know, the animals that stand around going ‘moooo.”

“I know what milk is,” Anders chuckled, “It’s just strange you’d come looking for milk in Darktown.”

“We’re not looking for milk in Darktown.” Hawke explained, “We want to know if you’d know where to buy milk.”

“I don’t drink milk. It goes bad quite quickly down here. It’s a shame, I really like it.” Anders said, “If you find a place that sells it let me know. I might start buying it again.”

“Oh so you’re not actually going to come with us?” Fenris said, “At last someone with sense.”

“I’ve got work to do here, so I can’t come.” Anders replied coolly, “Good luck Hawke.”

//

“We’ve been everywhere in Kirkwall and there is no milk.” Hawke complained, flopped over a wall. Merrill was sat on the wall next to him, with Varric leaning on the other side. Sebastian and Fenris stood a little way off.

“We’ve not even been everywhere.” Fenris complained, “We’ve been to our friends. And that’s it.”

“Oh. Yeah. I suppose we should probably ask some of the vendors.” Hawke nodded. “Let’s go.”

It didn’t take them long, which annoyed Fenris more. Sebastian had been talking to the blacksmith who had pointed him in the right direction. He had given these directions to Fenris, who had found a few bottles of milk kept cold with magic, and had paid for them before Hawke, Varric and Merrill had reached them.

“Do you even want coffee anymore?” Sebastian inquired as Hawke ‘rejoiced’ that Kirkwall was not out of milk.

“No.”

Sebastian clapped a hand on his shoulder with a grin. “You have to admit, no matter what it is we do with Hawke it’s always entertaining.”

Looking over at where Hawke and Merrill were creating a story about what would happen to Kirkwall if the milk supply ran out, with Hawke being rather overdramatic and Merrill being no less over the top. Varric was chipping in every now and then and Fenris couldn’t help but smile.

“I suppose you’re right. Hawke does know how to make things interesting.”

“He really is an amazing person.” Sebastian added. Fenris nodded and called for Hawke.

“I’ve got the milk I’m going for some coffee.” He said, “Are you coming?”

“Sure, let’s all go and have coffee.” Hawke nodded, “Everyone to my house, single-file march!”

Merrill saluted and began marching off, followed by Hawke and Varric. Sebastian laughed and joined in, leaving Fenris standing there watching in amusement before he too hurried to follow them, bypassing the single-file line and walking next to Hawke, clutching the milk to his chest despite the cold.


End file.
